[00:00:00] Nicole Pendergrass We all need to think about very carefully to prevent us from comparing ourselves, because then that can make us not grateful for what we actually have accomplished already and not satisfied with where we already are. You can still have those goals, but we need to make sure you’re comparing yourself to yourself, not yourself to somebody else, because that is not a measure of growth.

You’re comparing apples and oranges, right? Let’s not.

[00:00:59] Nicole Pendergrass Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Shared Wealth Show. This is the show where we discuss strategies on how to grow, build, and protect minority wealth. Now, today I do not have a guest. It is just little on me coming to you myself just to talk to you about some things regarding gratitude. Since it’s.Thanksgiving holiday season and Thanksgiving is tomorrow as of the time this recording is gonna come in. But there’s some things I kind of wanted to touch on and talk to you guys about some things that I have actually been going through myself or have gone through before and have been learning the process on how to get through it. And this is all about sharing, right? So I wanted to share my strategy. With you in hopes that it will help you too. So it’s really, it’s almost the end of the year. We know that it’s time for New Year’s resolutions to start going crazy everywhere, but before we start planning for the future in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let’s take a moment to just reflect.

[00:02:16] Nicole Pendergrass I know that you’re thinking that maybe the only thing you can reflect. Is all the 2022 goals and resolutions that you didn’t do right? How many of us started off the beginning of the year with all these plans, grandiose ideas and themes, and then they started slowly trickling downhill, and we did not complete a lot of the things that we had on our plate. It’s because we put too much on our plate to begin with, right? We are always, at least I am, and I know there’s a lot of people out there doing the same. We are always overburdening our to-do list with too many things for the amount of time that we have to accomplish those things. We don’t plan it out strategically. Even my daily to-do list is too overburdened because I overestimate how much I can get done in a small amount of time, considering the one day window, but I’m also trying to juggle work kids and everything else, right. So instead of being upset about the things I didn’t do, I should be grateful. A lot of the things that I did do, right?

So here I have found the best exercise that’s really helped me in order to reflect and actually get gratitude and have gratitude for what you have accomplished already. So let me share what that is first. This is about. Thinking backwards to where you have come from, not looking forward to where you are.

Not yet. Do you get that? You need to look at where you came from and not look forward to where you are not yet. Wherever your goal is, whatever that looks like to you, wherever you want to be, you’re always gonna be progressing toward. Your ultimate goal, whether it’s the person that you wanna become or whether it’s a lifestyle that you wanna have, and there are multiple things within any goal. There’s a lot of steps throughout the process leading to that goal. And as you are going through those steps, that goal is actually gonna shift and change a little bit. No one’s 10 year goal stays the same by the time you get to year 10. It’s always gonna alternate and like, and change and conform. The new person you’re becoming along the journey because when you start this journey, you’re one way. As you start taking those steps, you progress, you develop as a person, you become a bigger person because you have a bigger mindset. And that bigger mindset can accomplish much bigger things than your original 10 year goal or five year goal. Right. So your goal to say all that, your goal is a moving target, it’s going to change.

[00:05:12] Nicole Pendergrass 

But in the meantime to enjoy the process and not be frustrated continuously with what you have not yet done. Stop and think first exercise. Sit and think back to six months ago. Actually, let me do this the, the opposite way. Stop and think To five years ago, where were you at then? What were you. What were your goals at that point? What have you accomplished since five years ago? What do you have now that you did not have then? Whether that’s a mindset, whether, whether it’s physical assets, whether it’s you’re no longer in debt, whether it’s you paid off of credit card, whatever it is. It could be something super small that was plaguing you before five years ago, but now you kind of solved. You could have cleaned out your closet and got rid of all those old clothes. You could have revamped your wardrobe. You could have started taking care of yourself, doing more hair, nails, whatever, to make you feel like a boss or feel confident in yourself. Right? So even if that’s a new habit, new habits could be something that you accomplished since the last past five years. Doesn’t have to be huge, right? So now you did that. Write that down as an exercise five years ago. Think about that. Actually write it down too. Now, three years ago, what have you accomplished in the past three years? What about one year? And now even think six months ago, ask yourself those same questions. What did I want to do? What did I accomplish? Not what I didn’t accomplish. What did you accomplish? Where are you today? Sometimes some things weren’t even on your plan to do, and opportunities came up and you took advantage of them or something just fell in your lap or whatever it was. So some things happened that you actually didn’t plan for, but are actually good things and help progress you toward your ultimate goals. So that when I did that exercise and I looked back at where I was 10 years ago, five years ago, I didn’t tell you 10, but you could do 10, 2, 10 years ago, five years ago, and especially three years ago. So much I accomplished in the past three years has been a little bit insane, and the entire time that three. All I was doing was stressing out about what I was not accomplishing and what I was not doing, and how I was not moving as fast as I thought I should be moving. Right? We all do that to ourselves and then we get in our own minds and we end up being walking around frustrated at life and things that are happening because it’s interrupting our progress or is making us stop and put out little fires here and. Instead of being able to sit and have deep focus on the one thing you were trying to do for the day, you always have to stop and figure out this or do that, or you know, get the car fixed or take your kids over here, or whatever it is that is coming up in Dale. You just life and it’s pulling you away from the things you wanna focus in on.

 [00:08:40] Nicole Pendergrass

It just makes you frustrated that it’s interrupting your concentration or your focus, your journey. So all of that, that three years was my, my mindset. I was more about not being able to handle that. I was not moving as to expeditiously as I thought I was going to or I should be, because you know who the problem was. I was focusing on everybody else. I was looking at what everybody else was. I put myself in RHS where I was not the smartest in the room. It was not the most successful in the room on purpose because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? And in doing that, I did not know how to control the comparisonitis that was gonna fit to me. And I’m looking at everyone else’s journeys and I’m looking at what they’re accomplishing. And yeah, I’m happy for them, but I’m sad for myself because I’m not there. Instead of actually looking at where I came from, as, I don’t know anything about their journey. I don’t know anything about where they started. Like I know people’s stories, but everyone gives you like the overview. You don’t really know the nitty gritty and the, the sleepless nights and the, you know, arguments with the spouse maybe, or, you know, crying in a corner. I don’t know, like what other people had. Accomplish and get over and push through in order to get those things in their journey to be happening at the speed that they’re happening now. Cuz it could have been 10 years of being extremely slow and now all of a sudden it’s like boom, boom, boom, boom. And you’re looking at the boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. But you didn’t see the tenure before. So how can you compare your journey to them when that was not what you see now is not what they had to ghost grow. They earned those stripes, right. I think that that is just something we all need to think about very carefully to prevent us from comparing ourselves, because then that can make us not grateful for what we actually have accomplished already and not satisfied with where we already are. You can still have those goals, but we need. Make sure you’re comparing yourself to yourself, not yourself to somebody else, because that is not a measure of growth. You’re comparing apples and oranges, right? Let’s not do that. So I just wanna say, I guarantee you can almost guarantee you if you thought about five or 10 years ago where you were, you are not anywhere near the same place then as. I know you’ve had some growth, and I know you’ve accomplished some goals. Maybe not all the goals you wanted to, but that’s not the point of this exercise. The point of this exercise is to look at what you have accomplished. So I know you have accomplished things, and I know you are not where you used to be. Right? There’s been growth. If you’ve put any, any time and attention into that growth, you’re so much different. You’re stronger, you’re wiser, you’re more confident. Maybe you stepped through a fear and just got that thing done. You know, maybe you did it, maybe something that people told you you couldn’t do and you said, nah, you know what I’m gonna show you. Or I’m just gonna keep going this way anyway. Cause I know this is the direction I’m supposed to be headed. I know these are the things you’re supposed to do. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m nervous, I’m scared, whatever it is. But you just kept pushing through that made you a stronger person you had to push through. And uncertainty in order to get to be the person that you are today, stronger and able to handle that same kind of situation. Cuz now you’ve already faced it. Maybe you found a solution to an obstacle or something else that you thought was insurmountable. Maybe you grew your net worth, maybe you got rid of some debt.

[00:12:40] Nicole Pendergrass The last time I came to you solo, I spoke about the fallacy of. If you missed that last solo episode, that was episode 25, so go check that out. But in any case, practicing this method of fostering gratitude by looking at how far you’ve come is it makes it so much easier to actually give yourself the grace needed to deal with frustration that can come from dropping ball or not juggling everything perfect every time. We get too hard on ourselves for just being human, right? If you listen to that episode, you can’t always put a hundred percent focus on every single area. You’re never perfectly balancing everything all the time. There’s always gonna be a little bit more focus over here. Then this falls off. Okay? Now a little bit more focus over there. Now this falls off, or whatever it is. You just drop balls, pick them back up and keep. , right? So all that to say, let’s just stop comparing ourselves to other people. Let’s stop being upset that we’re dropping ball on a journey. Let’s look at how far we’ve come in the past and compare ourselves to ourselves that will help us be okay with the hiccups and the fires and obstacles and the other things that get in the way. Air quotes of our progress. . It’s really helping us form into the person that we need to be in order to handle what we’re trying to get. Okay. As an entrepreneur with like big goals, sometimes we have a subconscious thought that a lot of us have been taught as kids, and even if it’s not directly, someone said that it kind of is lurking in verbiage and other things like paradigms that we’ve been raised under. If you are, you know, someone with big goals, which I believe you are, cause you’re listening to this podcast, right? You’re looking for those resources to grow your wealth and to get to that next level. But this one thought can really learn is ugly head. And this is what I had to stop and think of too. It’s like gotta be careful. Your subconscious, if you always want more, if you always dream of having bigger or better things. Then that must mean that you are not happy with what you have Now, that must mean you take what you have now for granted because you’re always looking toward the future and for the next bigger and better goal. Now, is that not true? Of course that’s not true. Of course, you’re grateful for what you have today. . There’s that mindset that if you want more, you must not be grateful. Like what kind of, where did that come from? But I know I have heard that before, had that subconsciousness. It’s in the little phrases that were fed as kids and we have to realize that that is not true.

This is not an either or scenario. Successful people understand the power of the word and. Actually, so do kids because have you ever had a dollar or some, you know, a young child to pick between two things that they really want? They’re always gonna say, both. My daughters always say both. I try to do the whole mind church thing with like, let them decide, but the actually decision because two things that you decided. Oh, like you pick blue or you pick red, you know, and cuz you want them to wear either one of those and make them feel like they’re making a. They would always say, oh, I want the blue one and the red one. Why can’t we take a clue from kids in their mindset? Because they haven’t been inundated yet with a lot of the beliefs and paradigms that we as adults have been from off childhood. Right. Let them live and let them express that and let’s take, you know, ideologies from them cuz they’re just young and they don’t know. But what they don’t know is actually things that we should really be unlearning, right? But in any case, you can have big goals and still be grateful for what you have today.

[00:17:09] Nicole Pendergrass And this strategy of looking previously at your past is a perfect way to do that. It’s a way to still remain grounded and grateful for where you came. Um, so that is. Really what I wanted to come to you about today, and I probably chatted a little bit longer than I thought, but I think this is, this is such a subject that I’m so passionate about because it’s one of those mindset things that can really put a hinder on your growth and your development and just make you feel like you’re not doing enough and be too down on your. And I think you need to give yourself some credit and, and really realize what you have been able to accomplish, and then maybe pat yourself on the back. Okay. I’m patted myself on the back for everybody listening and not watching. Anyway, so that’s it for now. What I will say, I, I want to announce, this is something else that I’m super grateful for. Over the past year, me and my husband have been working. Turning one of my five year old daughter Madison, she is such a great personality and imagination, and last year around this time, she was telling everybody in the family about this story that she was not from this planet. She had super powers. Somebody stole her superpowers, and the only way for her to get it back was she had to go find a. Where was that book? That book was on Earth. So she had to get to Earth to find this book and find her superpowers. So I mean, this book, I don’t know where she came to store there, but in any case, we thought it was so great. We really wanted, my husband especially really wanted us to do a kids’ book. So we been working diligently this past year, making that the storyline and the overarching game for her new. and we just released it last week. It has already gotten a number one new best seller in a couple of different categories and it got like bestseller and at least one, if not more of that, try to catch them cuz they can come up, you know? So I’m super excited. She’s already been invited to like three different book signings to like launch her book and have a book reading and sign books. Like she’s five and she’s signing books. It’s crazy. In any case, I’m telling you all this because this book is available in Amazon right now. It is called Everyone Can Be a Superhero. My husband and I wove some other kind of things into the book, like I had to put some real estate in there. We talked about some teamwork mindset things, some really good principles and learning and education for children. So please, if you want to pick up the book and support. There is a Kindle version. It’s in Kindle Unlimited, or you can get the paper back and let me know if you, you get it. Send me a picture of you holding it and you know, if you have children that you wanna give it to. If you have a niece, nephew, a friend that’s having a baby like anyone, Christmas is coming up. So this will be the perfect time to order a book and have those as Christmas gifts. In any case, we really think that they will love the storyline. There are some valuable lessons. There’s also some free coloring pages. I will put the link to my website. There’s a private hidden page on my website that has these coloring pages that I will put that in link below. The coloring pages are free, even if you do not buy the book. You can get the covering pages for for free. But I will put that link in the show notes. But in any case, I’ll put also put the link to the book on Amazon in the show. Nuts. But you can search it on Amazon. You should find it. Everyone can be a superhero as like a blue cover with two little black girls with puff, puff hair on the front, flying in the air. You will definitely numb it. Everyone can be a superhero.

[00:21:16] Nicole Pendergrass  Okay, and then the last thing, so this is another and Moment book and. December 1st through the third Thursday, December 1st through Saturday, December 3rd. I will be one of the keynote speakers at an upcoming Legacy Wealth Building Summit. Woo. Actually Legacy Wealth Building Playbook Summit. Can’t forget the playbook. That’s important. In any case, they’re gonna. A lot of speakers giving a lot of great value. If you are looking to build wealth, if you are looking for strategies, this summit is directly in line with why I’ve even started this podcast. If you are an individual looking for clarity on your purpose, if you’re a budding entrepreneur and or a seasoned business owner, this summit really is for you. There are gonna be speakers looking to, not looking to but talking. Anybody who’s in any of those categories, there’s gonna be wealth building things. There’s gonna be financial strategies, there’s going to be mindset, things like, I’ve seen the list and I, of course, I don’t even know everybody, but it’s the ones that they do know. I’m like, oh yeah, I gotta be there for the whole summit myself. You know, because I wanna hear these people talk. These are great influencers in the space and they really are there to give and pour into you. And I’m also pouring in and talking more about how to get involved in multifamily real estate if you wanna be active and if you wanna be passive in what that looks like, depending on the resources that you have available to you. And I have some freebies and some giveaways happening at the end of that too. So you don’t wanna. Wait, wait. Don’t go yet. Have you been looking for a way to get started in real estate investing, but you just don’t know how you need the launchpad? It’s brought to you by my company, Northwest Holdings. Now, the Launchpad is a free guide with a ton of resources I’ve compiled to help you invest into your first real estate syndication. It includes terminology, book resources, video explanations, all the information that you need. Don’t know what a syndication is. I got you covered. How to find a good operator, how to even tell if a deal is good or not, without having to know how to underwrite it all. It’s all in there. The launchpad is designed to help launch you into the next stage of your investment career and get you invested into your first multi-family syndication as a passive investor. Meaning you can be a landlord and own a piece of a large apartment building, but still go about your day to day life without having to stop and learn every single detail about what’s under the hood and how it all works. The link to the guide is in the show notes. Make sure you sign up today. Again, this is a free resource and guide, and if you have any questions at all, please feel free to reach out to me. Now, let’s finish up the show. Last thing I wanna say about that, the tickets are for. Free tickets. Do not miss it. Don’t devalue the opportunity because you didn’t pay for ita. Joy is giving away this conference for free to people. She’s put tons of work into developing this program and it’s fantastic. I’ve seen the work that she’s put in behind the scenes. This summit is for you, the Legacy Wealth Building Playbook Summit. I will have the link for the free tickets, right in the comments and the show notes as well. And if you enjoy the show, you know I’ve been doing this. I think this is episode 20. Any case. Needs Be sure to leave the rating on Apple podcasts. It really means a lot to me and it really helps us share the wealth, right? We want to get this show out to more people so they can hear the guests and hear all the strategies and the mindsets and the journeys and the possibilities. For what you can do and what other people can. If somebody accomplished that and they took this route, that’s something I know that there’s tits in every story that you can take embrace to your own journey. Right? So I will very much appreciate that. Again, book. And rating all three of those in the show notes. And I hope the conversation today was helpful to you about how to make sure you are being grateful for what you already accomplished. Cuz I know you’ve done a lot. In any case, I will talk to you next time, and as a great and happy Thanksgiving holidays. Bye.