[00:00:00] Nicole Pendergrass: The key to balance is accepting that there is no balance. That is the key. You have to realize and be okay with understanding that you will never juggle all the balls at the same time, all the time, perfectly, and have your hand on all the balls at the same time. Something’s going to fall to the ground, but that’s just part of life. And I feel like the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be okay when things seem like they’re all in disarray or when you feel overwhelmed.

[00:01:01] Nicole Pendergrass: Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Share The Wealth Show. Today, wow, I just realized it. Today is a very extremely special day. It is our 25th episode. Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it has already been 25 episodes. That’s crazy. Thank you. Thank you so much for hanging in there with me. I hope the show has been super valuable for you so far and, today, we’re going to switch it up a little bit. We are going to do a solo episode today. I will be interviewing myself, well, maybe at least talk it to myself through you but in any case, we are going to talk about mindset and expectations. You know, this is something that I have been dealing with a lot recently as I’m getting busier and busier. This is also something that I talk to other people struggling with these same issues about on a consistent basis. This is something across the board that everybody has trouble with. If you are trying to excel or level up or get to that next place and achieve goals in your life, you will come across the issue of balance. How are you balancing all the things? How are you wearing all the hats? I get that question a lot. How are you doing so much with my W2, with my being wife, with being a mother of two toddlers who still are very clingy to mommy, right, to building this real estate empire and just all the other things that I’m trying to do on a regular basis? I won’t say try that. I am doing regardless of how effectively I feel like I’m doing them sometimes, but that’s what we’re going to talk about today because there’s some thoughts on that that I want to share. And I feel like these last couple of years have been really extreme book reading years for me. I have been reading a lot more on personal development and mindset when I thought my mindset was just on point already. But there’s so much more little, did I know how much, I didn’t know. In any case, so let’s just get into the episode and introducing me. So you guys know me already, but I am, like I just said, a full-time W2 employee, mother of two toddlers, wife, real estate investor, and disruptor economic disruptor. I want to help others rise up and level up and really get their finances and generational wealth in order. And that’s what my mission is and that’s what I’m all about. So this show is about building, growing, and protecting minority wealth. And so that’s the kind of thing that I try to get guests centered around and have those discussions to see what their journeys were and how you can also achieve that.

[00:04:10] Nicole Pendergrass: But in any case, This issue of balance comes into huge play when you are trying to move forward and doing bigger things and adding things to your plate, right? So here we go. Balance, the way most people think of it, or the way that I feel it is portrayed in personal development or lifestyle, all those types of gurus out there, when they are talking about balance and when people perceive the word balance, most of the time it is as if you are in some sort of equilibrium, like you have reached a state where you kind of have everything under control, in a constant pretty even-keeled type of way, right, but that’s not really what balance is all about. Balance is about getting out of alignment and movement. It’s about, imagine a seesaw, right? And the seesaw, if it stayed flat, that would be no fun. You know, you would have no movement and no motion there, but if it stayed flat, what are you doing? You would get off the seesaw, but balance that’s the kind of balance that we expect to have in our lives is just flat. Like, I devote the same amount of attention to my kids. I devote the same amount of attention to my job. I devote the same amount of attention to my business or my real estate investing or whatever it is that you are investing in for wealth building. And what you’re trying to create on your journey. Balance is seen as that thing that you can just, across the board, keep everything in equilibrium. That is not what it is. Balance is about getting out of equilibrium. It is impossible to devote the same amount of attention at all times of the day, to all the different areas of your life. That’s humanly impossible. Now, when you’re at home, you can devote time to your kids, or you can be on a call or you can be doing business, or you can be doing your household things, like making dinner, cleaning up, or whatever that is. Or you might be doing other W2 work at home, but you have to decide at that moment, what you’re going to focus on. And at the moment that you are focusing on that one thing, the other things in your life are on the wayside and they are not getting the same amount of attention. So guess what, that part of the seesaw just went down to the ground because there is no attention there lifting it up and whatever you’re focusing on is where your energy is and that’s, what’s lifted high in the sky. So in order for you to focus on one thing, something else cannot be focused on at that same moment, right? That’s why there’s all these strategies about time blocking and day blocking and just managing your calendar so that you can focus on certain things at a certain time. I don’t think meaning like within a day you spent 30 minutes in all these different areas of your life means you’re in balance because you still we’re shaking that seesaw and going up and down between the different areas of your life, right?

[00:07:18] Nicole Pendergrass: So, the key to balance is accepting that there is no balance. That is the key you have to realize and be okay with understanding that you will never juggle all the balls at the same time, all the time, perfectly, and have your hand on all the balls at the same time. Something’s going to fall to the ground, but that’s just part of life. And I feel like the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be okay when things seem like they’re all in disarray or when you feel overwhelmed. But we will get to that. So I think people look at me and think, you know, how are you doing all of this? You’re balancing everything. I get that question a lot. How do you balance it all? And my answer all the time is I don’t. I constantly drop balls and I just keep picking them up and keep moving forward. And that is the key to life. The key to progress is taking one step at a time, going through obstacles, going over mountains, whatever you need to do, dropping balls, and picking them back up and just keep moving forward. And that, that is the key. That is the real secret to balance, right? And there’s some other things with mindset in order to really fully accept that and what your expectations are of the future. So, saying about the equilibrium with the seesaw and things being, having to be in motion on a constant basis, that is just actually a philosophy of life. Life is about movement. Growth is about movement. So imagine circulation in your body. If your blood is not circulating and moving oxygen and nutrients do not get to the vital parts of your body, where they need to go, right? Finances, if your money is stagnant, I will call a savings account stagnant because I really believe it is. Because if you’re getting 0.00001%, whatever they give you, that’s basically stagnant. And that’s why it doesn’t grow because you’re keeping it in the one spot. Growth of finances and wealth building is all about deploying your money to a certain investment in a certain area and letting it come back to you with more and then deploying that with your original money with friends out to another investment and letting it come back again. So that’s money circulation. Like why do you think they call money, is the money that’s in circulation. It has to move around. It has to change hands you go and buy something at the store and it’s changing hands. It’s going to that business owner who is then turning around and paying employees or buying more products, you know what I mean? Like this, all of that, the economy wouldn’t run if money did not circulate and if it stayed stagnant. Air and breathing, you have to breathe in oxygen and out carbon dioxide. And the trees and plants breathe in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen. This is all a circulatory system. Everything in life is about movement. If you don’t have movement, you will atrophy and die or wither away, whatever you want to say, political correct or whatever.

[00:10:36] Nicole Pendergrass: But movement is required for any aspect of life. So why do you think that balance means equilibrium and staying still and being constantly in control of everything? How are you growing and developing in that manner? You’re not, because, guess what, you have to actually go through some struggle in order to grow and get stronger. Hate to use the same analogy of lifting weights. But guys, you know where I’m going with this, right? You can’t get stronger going to the gym and not tearing up your muscles, which is what you’re doing when you’re lifting that weight, right? You have to break things down in order for it to build back up stronger, and that is the same for you and your goals and your mission in life and whatever it is that you want to accomplish. If you want growth in development, you have to face some things sometimes, like it’s not going to be an easy road. It’s not all going to be trials and tribulations, but it’s not all going to be sunshine and butterflies either. So we have to be okay with accepting that it’s just par for the course. When life happens, you need to be okay that knowing, in knowing that adversity is coming to you because you are on the right path, and adversity comes to block you from your blessing because it doesn’t want to see you achieve. It doesn’t want to see you reach your full potential, but you have to fight through that. You have to prove that you are worthy of what’s on the other side of that obstacle. And actually, the only way for you to become worthy is to actually go through that obstacle and face that demon and just slay it. Kick that sucker down to the ground, tell it to get out of your way, and keep going, right? But through that process of getting broken down, that’s where you find the strength and the knowledge and the belief in yourself that you can accomplish big things and that you can do hard things and overcome them.

[00:12:44] Nicole Pendergrass: And so in order for you to become the person you need to be in order to have the thing that you want to have, you need to go through some stuff. And that’s just how life is. And if someone else can tell you that it’s going to be easier than that. I can’t agree. You know, I have the mindset that, you know, there’s all these positive affirmations out there that oh, money comes to me easily, or this comes to me easily or this is not difficult, and those are great. There’s a place for that when you get to a certain spot, but in order to become that person, that’s when money comes to you easy, that’s when things just fall into place and fall into your lap or what is attractive to you, the universe brings to you because of your mindset, after you have earned it, right? So after you have actually got out there and started taking action and making those steps, things will fall into place, but you’re not going to see the opportunity sitting on your couch. You only see the opportunity and only get presented with opportunity when you’re actually outside or out doing the thing that you need to be doing and trying to go in the direction that you need to go. That’s when people also see you with your effort and want to help. Or when they see an opportunity, they get an opportunity, then they will present it to you because they believe in you because they see your journey and your struggle, and they see you grow into the person that you need to be. So that is the part about balance, where movement is needed. And you have to accept that.

[00:14:15] Nicole Pendergrass: Another part of expectation of accepting it is the expectation. So this is the third and final part of my spiel on balance. Not only is movement needed, there are sometimes feelings and emotions in your body that come when you are going through those rough times, right, or when you’re faced with difficulty or adversity, you feel that pit, your stomach drops and you feel, like, the tingly sensation all over your whole body, right? And you feel like you might puke a little bit, you know, you just feel off and wheezy. Maybe you have vertigo, I don’t know, whatever that does to you. But think about that. That’s also, I won’t say a seesaw ’cause it’s not that much movement depending on how, you know, young or old you are, but let’s say you go to an amusement park and you’re on a roller coaster. When that roller coaster drops, does your stomach not go up to your throat? Do you not get the anticipation tingly feelings as it’s reaching the top and the crest of the height of the rollercoaster? You get that anticipation of whoa, my goodness. What is about to happen? Why did I get on this roller coaster? This is crazy. Like, I hope everything just goes smoothly and I get off this thing safe, right? Is that not what we think? And then as it starts going down, that’s like, going on the crazy ride of life or something happens and you need to handle it and your stomach might be in knots. It might, you know, rise to your throat, but that is part of the movement of life, right? You have to just think about that as look, this means that I’m doing the right thing. This means that greatness is coming my way and you have to reframe those feelings in your body. Instead of anxiety that can stop you and slow you down, think of that as excitement. It causes the same physiological response in your body. Think about it. When you’re excited on that rollercoaster, that’s the same feeling you feel in your body when you’re dreading something. There’s a difference between the feeling of joyful anticipation of something that you want to happen and you’re anticipating it and you’re excited versus anxiety because it’s something that you’re dreading that you don’t want to happen, right? But if you reframe and think of these bad, anything that you’re going through, you should be an in joyful anticipation of what’s on the other side of that thing.

[00:17:00] Nicole Pendergrass: If you know and accept that life is about movement and that balancing all these different aspects of your life is about having ups and downs. And that’s the only way that you’re actually going to grow and develop into the person that you need to become, is by going through those ups and downs. And focusing, enjoying the journey. So enjoying the journey means accepting the downs and the ups and accepting the times when it might be a little bit stagnant and nothing’s happening. But if you’re spending time with your family and friends, enjoy it, don’t be thinking about, you know, work and all these other things that you need to do. Be present in the moment. And when you’re at work, do the work that you need to do. And don’t sulk about it. Like you don’t have to be sitting there all jolly like, oh, doing my work. But don’t sit there and complain and salt the entire time because that’s just going to make you dread that every single day. Find the joys within it and just know that you are working to get to become the person that you need to be in order to have the things that you need to have because you fully accept life and everything that happens. It’s all about your expectations and being mentally willing to accept everything that happens, whether it is what you want to happen or not because you need to fully believe that greatness is on the other side of the adversity. So when your seesaw is off balance, just know that’s what’s supposed to be happening, and don’t be upset about it. Have joyful anticipation, not anxiety. And just know you should always be in constant movement. Don’t get comfortable and stay still because that’s the fastest way to atrophy your life. There’s too many people sleepwalking through life because it’s easy. I need you guys to all get on your seesaws and be okay with the up and down, with the movement, with the back and forth. Even with the drop in the ball analogy, if you want to be a juggler, you don’t like seesaws, it’s okay. Drop all the balls. Just keep picking them up and keep moving forward. Even if you have to take a step back to chase a ball down. If that’s the right ball, you’re supposed to have it, you’re supposed to go get it and get back on your journey. Don’t let anything stop you. Don’t worry about being in balance. Just know that being in balance means being out of balance at different points in your life for different aspects of your life. There’s no perfection. There’s just moving forward and doing the best that you can and giving yourself a little grace.

[00:19:54] Nicole Pendergrass: But in any case, that is my spiel on. Balance and keeping everything together and holding it together. And the perfection of, you know, what you’re supposed to look like to the world and just acceptance, accepting your life as it is, but still working toward that goal in the future.

[00:21:22] Nicole Pendergrass: So now we are at the final three questions. if you have been a listener, a long-time listener, then a long-time, 25-episode listener. Yay. Then, you know, I ask every guest at the end three questions. I have never actually answered these questions on the show as of yet. And I figured why not do it today? I told you we’ll do a little bit different. So question number one, Warren Buffett said diversification is protection against ignorance. So what do I think about that? I’ve semi-answered that before, but not fully. So my thought on that is that Warren Buffett means if you’re diversifying into all these different various buckets, it’s the hedge against ignorance means it’s a hedge against you not knowing what you’re doing. So, if you aren’t very specific and know what you’re doing, then you need to put money and spread out your investments in different buckets. In case one goes down, you have some others to keep it afloat. Now, whether I think of it, I really feel like he meant that in a not positive way, that’s why most people diversify because they just don’t know what they’re doing, right? But do I think that’s a bad thing? No, I think you should diversify. I also think you should get very experienced and niche and expert in one particular area. And laser focus on that, grow your wealth that way and then diversify that wealth into buckets for safety and for capital preservation. But when you’re in growth mode, you should focus. When you’re in capital preservation mode, you should diversify. So it does depend on where you are in your journey. I know a lot of people still diversify, even when they’re in growth mode, but you should at least take a chunk of that and focus it in one particular area, okay, so that’s my answer.

[00:23:22] Nicole Pendergrass: In the game of Monopoly, Baltic or Boardwalk, which one am I buying first for the strategy to win and why? Man, this is a good question. Did I think about this before? I feel like I’m going to go with Baltic. Why I’m going to go with Baltic? Because I can get started faster and I consider Baltic to be like a C range type of property, and those tend to cash flow better if I’m thinking, trying to correlate to real life. In Monopoly, I don’t think Baltic actually cash flows that well, but I feel I would go there first just because I would actually be able to just get started sooner and get my hotels built sooner. So I’m thinking about growth and scale and where can I do that. So if I do Boardwalk first, even though in the game in Monopoly, this is hard ’cause in Monopoly, Boardwalk does cash flow way more. I haven’t done the percentages on the numbers to see like percentage wise or purchase price, what that cash on cash return is for the cash flow if you get landed on and the probability and all that stuff, but I don’t know. It’s just, it’s an A class property. I also think that depends where you are in life. If you are in capital preservation mode, maybe go for Boardwalk. But if you’re in growth mode, go for Baltic. I’m in growth mode and the kind of people I want to help more than likely live in Baltic. And so that’s where my mission is. And my focus is it’s not always just about the money.

[00:24:58] Nicole Pendergrass: And let’s see, what’s the third question? You know what, my third question is normally, like, how can you contact me? But you guys know I’m on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Nicole Pendergrass. My website, noirvestholdings.com will link will be in the show notes. Actually link is in every show notes. You can reach me there. You can message me there. nicole@noirvestholdings.com is my email address. And what’s the next thing I would need to take my business to the next level? That was a new question I added. Whoa, you know what? I need, I need to build a team. You know, that’s where my next focus is on building a team, getting some of these things off my plate because sometimes the other thing with balance is you’re balancing things that are not the highest and best use of your time, which is a lot of what I’m doing right now. And so I need to get a team for ancillary support to take some of those other things off my plate so I can work on balancing the important things. And then I need team members, like, within the company, as far as someone very focused in particular areas that I need for growth, which is all about helping my minorities build wealth. So I’ve been thinking about potentially doing a fund. I’m working on my first syndication right now. And. I’m having the conversations and deciding on how I can better educate people on what being a passive investor is and how creating a plan for your wealth-building journey is super important upfront because a lot of people don’t realize how much you actually need to invest or how long it’s going to take for you to build up the capital that you do have in order to it for it to create the cash flow that you want passively. Now, if you’re going to be active, that’s different. But if you want just to be passively investing in certain things, you got to have either a huge chunk of money front or you have to let the money that you do have build up over time and it’s going to take longer than a lot of people think because they have never actually sat and done the numbers or looked at the timeframes and they don’t even know what’s standard in certain investing arenas, right? So that’s something that I’ve been thinking about how to actually educate people more on that and how to build my team around helping more people build wealth. If that’s something that you’re interested in or ever thought about, you have ideas, please reach out to me ’cause I’d love to have those conversations and see what that looks like and how we can move this mission forward.

[00:27:37] Nicole Pendergrass: But in any case, it was great chatting with you guys. I hope there was some value in the mindset and the things that I was saying about balance and just fully accepting anything that’s happening in your life and just knowing that that’s for a bigger purpose for you to push past, so you can become the person you need to become. I fully believe that these are all things that I’ve been just learning and growing through myself. So I’m not telling you anything that is foreign to me, as far as implementing it into my own thought process. In any case, thank you guys so much for staying with me for 25 episodes, and cheers to, I don’t know, 500 more. So we’ll see you next week for the next episode.